Members' Prose
Members' Books & Scripts are listed on our Members' Books page.
Winners of the 2010 Writing Contest - Prose
Prose
Dayna Harpster, 1st place Fiction contest
winner
Anita DeWeese, Faye and Mr. Fusser, Fiction contest
winner, posted April 2010
Larry Stiles, The Break-in, Fiction contest winner, posted April 2010
Jan Nieman, What’s In a Perfect, Unremarkable Summer Day?, 1st place Nonfiction contest
winner, posted July 2010
David Hauenstein, A Moment in Time, Nonfiction contest
winner, posted April 2010
Lewis Knickerbocker, March 19, 2003, Nonfiction contest winner, posted April 2010
Member's Prose
“Disclaimer: The author is responsible for content, grammar, punctuation, and style. GCWA does not edit posted prose. Members may provide critique feedback to the author.”
The Descendant an original work by Carrie Graves, read at June's meeting, posted June 2010
Ruben Colon book review of The Fabergé Egg by Robert Upton, posted June 2010
Lew Knickerbocker book review of The Help by Kathryn Stockett, posted May 2010
My Father's boots an original work by Joseph Xavier Martin, posted April 2010
Ruben Colon book review of Stranger by Albert Camus, posted April 2010
The Descendant
Copyright c 2010 By Carrie Graves
The boy looked like all boys do at that age. Summertime gives eleven-years-old boys grimy faces, filthy dungarees, and stringy hair. Jerking limp reins hanging on the plow, the boy clenched his eyes and shook his head like a dog, slinging sweaty, slimy mud clumps everywhere. The stench of unwashed beast and boy melded with the fresh manure, swelling in the humidity, aligning with the stillness, pressing the molecules into a nearly tangible entity. It covered and coated and consumed. He knew the britches'd have to burn, thinking Pa’ll nev’ let up on me with sucha stink. The birds vanished some time back. Nothing chattered, hummed or buzzed in the heavy heat. Only gnats swarmed under the bruised clouds and the swirling underground fed creek was flat and toneless. Adam grabbed his nose and blew hard; then spat out the tiny bugs that he had sucked in.
Nearly 100 degrees, the sun burned westerly, so bright that even through his slitted eyes, Adam couldn’t see its outline. The whiteness in its center spawned outwards within the haze of the overcast sky, reflecting and re-reflecting its own brilliance against the encroaching gray-green clouds that pulsed flashes of lightening bolts he couldn’t see yet. The wind freshened as the cloud bank swelled over the crest of the stumpy Appalachian tailbone that defined rural Northeast Alabama, a place somewhere between the sun and the mighty Mississippi.
An ominous presence rumbled its impatient power, drowning out terrestrial sounds. Sucking up the day’s shimmery light in a hot gulp, its bitter gusts thrashed slender pines, grinding and snapping their branches. Adam knew the fullness was nearly upon. He stuck out his tongue, poking through the heaviness, seeking the first cool droplets. Not yet.
Adam wanted to finish the last row before the storm. Even if it wasn’t his fault, Pa would still whip him for not finishing before the rain came. Unconsciously he rubbed his backside where rough scars ridged the thin denim under his back pockets, leaving a slimy rust-dust stain across his rump.
“Haw,” called the boy as he snapped the reins to get the mule moving, but the harried animal only flattened its ears, standing straight still. Tetchy mule, he thought as he pretend kicked its backside. The mule took a step, stopped, and tremblingly tried to back up. Lightening struck a tight copse of pines on the far side of the field, engulfing half the ridge in flames. As thunder cracked sharp as a .30-.30 rifle, Adam ducked to all fours.
The mule brayed, and then bolted, lurching over unforgiving rocks. The plow yanked back the beast, nearly snapping it neck before turning turtle; though the mule continued dragging the dead weight. Rising, Adam unbuckled the straps on his overalls, letting them fall to sway as sharp gusts swatted the metal buckles. He watched another gust hurl a jagged pine branch that snapped several saplings as it ricocheted against the escarpment in to a straight free-fall. It’s gonna fall on ol’mule, thought Adam, and mesmerized, he watched the branch crashed only a foot or so from the plow. The mule seized. Then vanished.
“Lordy, dat tree ain’t hit’m,” said muttered Adam.. He snatched up his overall straps and ran. As ice marbles pummeled his bony shoulders, he lost his balance, sliding on the slickened kudzu, the non-indigenous creeper that covered anything to which could attach itself, and generally loathed as The Plant That Ate The South. Concussive thunderclaps continued reverberating through the valley while lightening spider-webbed the sky. Slamming against the boulders lining the mountain, the boy screwed up his eyelids and grinned. Ozone tingled tingled his nose as the nearly pitch sky turned florescent, and cold rain fell.
A warbling whimper flitted into Adam's conscious. Where t’cha go, ol’mule? he thought, pressing his fingertips into the crevices of the rock face, sliding his feet slowly forward. He peered into the shadows of the darkest part of the overhang, squinting at the nothingness. Nowheres t’hide in here, he thought. Then Adam’s scalp suddenly tingled, goose-bumping his skin as a queer electrical tension made his hairs suddenly seem turned back inside and razor sharp.
* * * * *
The wind blew through the opening of the natural aqueduct, bone-numbing despite the muggy heat wafting between gusts. Water seemed to flow in-between the cavern's rocks encircling him; its vibrations coursed within him. Azad didn’t remember waking up, and wondered how long he’d been in hibernacula. Awaking from hibernacula was arduous, and though lethargic, his mind neared full consciousness. He was still cold throughout and wouldn’t be able to move until he was well warmed up. Poikilothermic, his body temperature was dependent upon ts external environment. He smelled the red clay, which released its stored energy as late spring warmed the cavern. It interacted with the iron ore, to become the catalyst necessary for Azad's awakening. The storm will pass.
Another fierce gust assaulted him with the odor of a sweaty, terror-filled animal Mule! Azad identified it immediately as hunger cramped his stomach.. He’d not eaten since . . . so long he couldn’t remember. At least not meat that spent its days and nights in healthy, fresh air. The thrashing animal created irregular vibrations that he could feel within his bones, in the displacement of the rank air, and its plaintive cries. It was injured. Let it live.
Azad listened to the layered echos remembering that the subterranean enclosure was inaccessible and ancient. Formed by underlying plate tectonics that enclosed the cave, the peculiar escarpment was composed of interlaced, semi-flat boulders that protected it from the encroachment of passing civilizations. He was safe in his hypogeum and let himself drift into the energy conserving semi-trance that would protect his lidless, iris-less eyes from the searing electrical reflections.
The tempest pushed in a strong scent - human, young, virile and unwashed. A dirt-farmer. A youth, no longer a boy yet not a man, approached the cave. A silhouette eclipsed the entrance. The boy manifested something unexpected, nearly imperceptible. Azad sensed an incongruous aspect. Was the boy a chimera . . . with perhaps not innocuous . . . vagaries? queried Azad internally.
* * * * *
The lightning flickered on the plow handle somehow now below him, and Adam quickly clutched the jutting rocks. He refocused his eyes, seeing unsymmetrical, slovenly cut stone steps chiseled into the edges of a subterranean room. The mule's muffled mewl penetrated his concentration.
“Eh, ol’mule. I hears ya,” Adam said softly. Lightening flashed, and he saw the mule was lamed. Its head twisted awkwardly, tongue throbbing as it panted. The mangled plow lay upside down. The boy stepped forward, waiting for the storm's next guiding light. At the next flash the boy faltered. Something gleamed within the light refracted off the damp rocks; something that looked a lot like round, colorless eyes. Adam closed his own eyes and shook his own head dizzy, knowing nothing could shine like that in the black space before him. His heart throbbed inside his chest, pounding in his ears. Adam hadn’t seen any tracks nor any critter bones laying about. Fifteen generations of highlander and hillbilly rose to the surface, and Adam slowly squatted and grasped a fist-sized rock, widening his eyes. Tapping his foot across each uneven, rocky step forward. He could only hear the sound of the rain.Lightening flickered again, and suddenly the boy could see . . . a creature behind the eyes, emaciated, blackened and shriveled. Adam was disconcerted by the undefined recognition of fear wavering along the edges of his thoughts. That ain't of this world.
“What’cha is?” whispered Adam.
“Come ye forth, boy,” commanded a raspy, stunted voice.
Adam stiffened, surprised. He didn’t expect it to be able to talk, not to really answer. It, whatever it was, seemed to find speech difficult, like it had to try out each word. What Adam didn't know was that the transformation elevated the Azad's senses beyond the parameters experienced by humans. Azad could hear and understand human language, having spoken it naturally at one time; but he perceived thoughts and emotions as primary communication. Adam wondered briefly if the Preacher had actually been right and the Devil did come after boys who weren’t anointed.
“I . . . am . . . Azad . . . the Nagawer,” replied the thing, in Adam’s mind.
The Fabergé Egg
By
Robert Upton
Robert Upton has chosen a famous and lofty name for the title of this slim book (185 pages). By now, most everyone knows about Peter Carl Fabergé the master jeweler for Czar Nicholas II. The story revolves around an exquisite bejeweled egg created by Fabergé and destined as a gift from the czar to his wife, Czarina Alexandra Feodorovna, in 1913 to celebrate 300 years of Romanoff rule. During World War II, two Nazis steal the egg and eventually the egg and looters end up in the United States. Thereby hangs the tale…or does it?
Plot-Mr. Upton is excellent with plot twists. What appears as a kidnapping might not be a kidnapping (some readers might view this as a red herring). Hidden, dark character flaws rise to the surface from least likely characters.
Point of View: There are point of view changes without transitions, causes some confusion.
Antecedents: Problems of who is “he” occur too often.
E.g. Pg 11
“You a real cop?” the kid asked, grinning at McGuffin [the lead character].
McGuffin looked at the young man’s eyes in the mirror. The kid was enjoying the excitement. “Yeah, I’m a real cop,” McGuffin answered.
He skidded the cab into a near U-turn…
Who is the “He” skidding the cab? McGuffin? No, the cab driver.
Along with the ex-Nazis, a femme fatale, the KGB and other assorted characters, the story takes on the mantle of gumshoe mystery cum international intrigue and the former Soviet Union.
The plot of The Fabergé Egg is intriguing, the pace measured in half-breaths, and possess all the ingredients for a film noir.
Ruben Colon
“The Help,” by Kathryn Stockett, is remarkable in that she captures the sound and cadence of Mississippi in the same way that some musical people have perfect pitch. Additionally, "The Help" is as good an example of literary pacing I have ever read. Stockett’s timing, between highs and lows, danger and calm, simply keeps the pages flapping.
I avoided other reviewers’ problems with dialect since I heard the audio version and did not have to stumble over the oddly spelled words. There were four readers, which is unusual in an audio book, two with perfect black Mississippi accents, and two with perfect white Mississippi accents. Other reviewers thought that many of the characters were cardboardy. But since I am old enough to remember the attitudes towards civil rights, many of the social aspects attributed to white society strike me as being true. Inflexibility of some of the characters does not make them carboardy but makes them true to the times.
After finishing this book and learning that more than 50 agents rejected it, and only a new imprint agreed to publish it, I began to wonder what’s wrong with our book industry, especially since more than 425,000 copies have been sold in a year. But then again, this is the same industry that rejected “The Shack,” and dismissed “The Hunt for Red October” as being too technical.
Too many lattes on the Upper West Side?
Reviewed by Lew Knickerbocker
MY
FATHER'S BOOTS
I
saw them standing there in the corner, a pair of rubber fireman's boots. The top
cuff on each boot was rolled down, revealing the brown canvass lining inside.
The rest of the boots were made of shiny black rubber, with twin yellow lines
circling the calf area and a yellow stripe where the hard rubber sole met the
upper shoe of the boot. They were a little dusty and looked sort of forlorn
sitting there in the corner of my mother's basement, at 24 Ramona Ave., in
Buffalo, N.Y..
Dad
had just passed on and his many children had flown in from all over the United
States, to bury him and comfort my mother and each other. My father was much
beloved by all of us and It wasn't an easy time for our family. We treasured the
magic of his memory though. It is captured forever in each of
us.
Above
the boots, on a small peg on the wall and looking equally as forgotten, hung his
metal fireman's helmet. Emblazoned across the front of it was the legend
"Buffalo Fire Department." Francis Harold Martin had been a professional
firefighter for 33 years before retiring. Now, four years later, we were saying
good-bye to him for the final time.
I
remember seeing those boots, and that hat, in dad's locker at the Engine #8
Firehouse on Chicago Street, in Buffalo's Old First Ward.Dad had been born on
nearby Fulton Street. Generations of our people had walked the same streets. Now
Dad was helping protect them 100 years later. The "First Ward" was always a
special place to us.
Dad
had spent most of his career in this two-story, red-brick fire house. It had
been built in the 1890's and was first used as a station for the horse drawn
fire brigade. Whenever Dad brought us to the fire house, we were agog with the
many new and unfamiliar sights. From an old safe in the back, we were offered
candy bars and given the run of the place.Dad and the others were stationed
there in 14 hour shifts. Between calls, they tended to the equipment and
performed routine chores around the fire house. One of the men was usually
fixing some food in the kitchen area. If a call came during dinner, the food
would be left on the table as the men scrambled into their rubber boots and long
rubber jackets, often sliding down the shiny brass fire pole, from the floor
above, to jump onto the waiting Hook and Ladder truck.On an alarm run, dad sat
at the end of the truck, steering the rear wheels around
corners.
On
the truck, the metal fire hat gave the men a distinctive look, with its peaked
crown and elongated rear brim. Many a firefighter owed his life to the
protection of these sturdy helmets. At the fire, the men wielded an axe and
hoses with a sense of desperate urgency. Lives often depended upon their courage
and quick thinking. After the fire was put out,the grime covered and weary men
would roll up their hoses and return to the fire house, to await the adrenalin
rush of the next alarm. It was all in a day's work for these gallant Knights of
the hook and ladder.
During
the downtime, between fires, the men would polish to a glossy finish, the cherry
red surface of the very long hook and ladder truck. The men lovingly burnished
the abundant chrome work on the rig and treated it with the care and devotion
reserved for a machine whose proper functioning might make the difference in
whether or not they lived or died. Fire fighting is a dangerous job. Each of the
men knew that any fire could be his final call.
Dad
never talked about the dangers of the job to us. Once in a very great while, he
would mention the fate of some poor soul who had been caught in a fire. He was
saddened at their loss. When one of their own men died in the line of duty, the
fire community gave their fallen comrade a ceremonial farewell worthy of a
president and did what they could to help the fallen man's family. There is a
tight knit sense of fraternity among these men and women, a brotherhood of
shared danger in harm's way.
Most
people don't realize how difficult and dangerous a fireman's job is, because the
firefighters make light of the dangers and every day heroism. They treat injury
and death with the casual nonchalance of those who risk their lives daily in
service to others.
"Lots
of people wanted to be a fireman", dad used to say, "until you were up on a
ladder, in zero degree temperatures and a forty mile an hour wind."
"Then, he
said, "not too many
people wanted the job."
On
another visit, we really got the treat of our young lives. Dad took several of
us on a tour of his old station, the fireboat "Edward M. Cotter." It was berthed
near a spit of land, at the foot of Michigan Avenue, where it meets Lake Erie.
Dad's Great Grandmother, Catherine Tevington, had once lived here where the boat
is moored.
The
sturdy vessel, "Edward M. Cotter, is
painted all in red with black trim. It looks like a double decked harbor tug.
The swivel mounted water canon, on
the foredeck, shoots forth a continuous jet of water in a sweeping watery arc
that delighted all of the watching children. The engine room glistens with
polished brass fittings and shiny steel engine parts. The steady hum of the
marine diesels is thrilling and mysterious. It was a wonderful tour of the boat
that we all remembered for years afterward.
We
have a great picture of Dad, as he and a few firefighters stood on the top deck
of the fireboat, watching the many dignitaries that attended the ship's
christening. It seems odd to see him there, a handsome young man in his
thirties, wearing the dark blue firefighters dress uniform, with badged cap. Dad
had the dark curly hair and startlingly blue, turquoise eyes that we attributed
to the "black Irish" in our line. Legend has it that the older Irish families in
Buffalo, who had lived on nearby Times Beach, inter-married with the Spanish and
Portuguese Great Lakes sailors living there.The resulting progeny had dark curly
hair and bright blue eyes. It is an attractive combination of both ethnic
groups.
Dad
had an engaging Irish smile and could charm everyone with his infectious grin
and casual rendition of "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling, or
some other popular, ethnic ditty. Everybody liked my father. Years
later,
when I was involved in local politics, people would take me aside at a rally or
function and tell me what a great guy Dad was. I always felt grateful to those
friends who shared stories with me of his life.
And
now, Dad had answered the final call. For 33 years he had done his job in the
quiet, steady fashion that was the trademark of everything he did in life. He
never reached command rank in the fire department, because he always had one and
sometimes two other jobs to support his brood of 12 children. There was no time
left to study for promotional exams.
Dad
started work at an early age. During the depression he entered the Civilian
Conservation Corps, at age 17, and worked in the pine forests of Georgia. He
sent his entire salary to his mother to help out at home. My Grandfather,
Emmanuel Martin, was a "scooper" on the Buffalo waterfront and the rough and
tumble longshoremen often faced periods of unemployment. Dad was like that,
always helping somebody.
Later
on in life, as a bartender, Bible salesman, mailman, boiler maker, floor
polisher, beer salesman and a score of other jobs, he complimented his modest
salary from the fire department. Many of the area businessman recognized the
disparity in pay and offered a "fireman's discount" to the men. We used to
cringe with embarrassment when Dad asked "Do you give a Fireman's Discount?"
But, much to our amazement, many of the merchants did give the men a break. They
were appreciative of the dangerous job the firemen did, in protecting their
shops, and cognizant of the low pay that firemen then
received.
Dad
never complained about anything. He never got ruffled, just kept plodding along
however deep the waters got. He always told us that you had to "roll with the
punches." He never bought anything on credit and he always paid his bills on
time. We were more than fortunate in what he provided for
us.
I
remember that we often ate dinner early, at 3:30 P.M., when Dad had to be at the
firehouse by 4:30, to begin his 14 hour shift. We didn't see much of him because
he always had a job doing something or other. As a firefighter, activities on
weekends and holidays were dependent on dad's schedule. Many a family event was
celebrated without him, while dad manned his post.
When
he was home, we followed him around in silent awe and wanted to be part of his
day. He had his Mother, Mary Tevington's temperment and was both gentle and easy
with us until we crossed the line. Then the discipline was both swift and
sure.
There
are many memories that I carry of my Father. One of the most colorful was his
penchant for betting on the horses. He was a knowledgeable student of the nags.
He told me that he had started out running for the bookies, when he was a kid,
and followed the horses ever since. He bought "Turf" magazine and studied it
like the bible.We would pick up his racing forms, from a small store on the
corner of Smith and Seneca, in Little Hollywood. When Dad had made his picks,
two ten dollar bills would be wrapped in a piece of paper with his bets written
on them. He would then drop them through the rear window of his bookie's gas
station, on the corner of South Park and Elk Streets. It all seemed sort of
mysterious to me at the time and I thought it very
exciting.
Dad
was a capable handi-capper who would only bet on one or two races at a meet. He
picked those races where he thought that he could correctly assess the jockey
and horse's ability and their relative chances at winning a particular heat. As
a rule, he would only bet on thoroughbreds at the nearby Fort Erie Race Track,
across the Niagara River in Canada. Sometimes he and a few buddies would drive
the hundred miles to the Finger Lakes Race Track, in Canandaigua. He avoided the
local Harness Racing Tracks, because he thought that harness racing wasn't on
the "up and up." He told us that once he had been invited to sit in the owners
box at a harness racing track. It was suggested to him that he bet a certain
combination for the daily double. Sure enough, that combination came in and paid
handsomely. That was enough for Dad. He never went back. He was smart enough to
know that you wouldn't always be sitting in the owner's box and you can't fight
"coincidence."
Although
he would go through periods when he couldn't even steal a winner, Dad often won
at the track. I recall one especially big Exacta that came in for him. He was
able to pay for one of my sister's weddings and take the whole family to the
Crystal Beach Amusement Park, in Canada, for the day. That was a big outing for
a family our size.
Even
with his wins, Dad always told us that "The Horses,
and gambling in general, were a sucker's game and that the odds were stacked
against us. He passed along to us much of his hard earned wisdom. He left us a
good and honored name and a legacy of hard work and bull dog determination
that has served his children well these many years.
All
of these thought careened through my head as I looked at those boots standing in
the dusty corner. It is funny how much that we lock away in our memory, not even
aware of its presence, until some trigger sends it all gushing forth. Finally,
curiosity got the better of me. I slipped off my shoes and stepped into Dad's
boots. I found that they were way to big for me and that I couldn't fill my
Father's shoes. But then, I guess that was something that I had discovered a
long time ago.
Joseph
Xavier Martin
The Stranger
By
Albert Camus
The Stranger was Camus’s first novel. He went on to write other novels and essays. In 1957 he won the Nobel Prize for Literature.
POV-Written in first person, the main character is Meursault (no first name) and takes place in Algeria, the country then under French control.
Meursalt works at a humdrum job, lacks ambition, denies loving his girlfriend, Marie, they have sexual encounters, but he refuses to marry her. He meets and is snared by a member of the demimonde and ends up killing an Arab on a beach. While in prison, he loses Marie, waxes philosophical about his life, bobs along like a cork at the whim of wind and wave. He’s a cipher.
Cipher: a cipher in fiction is a character without an aim or goal in life, governed by whatever life throws his/her way (Candide is an example). A type of character suitable for authors of existential novels.
Characterization: fictional characters are given tags, particular identifiers for the reader (tics, quirks, word usage). How much is too much? The adjective “little” is given to Meursault to use over and over, ad nauseam. The word appears at least 30 times in this slim novel (123 pages). That comes out to one “little” every four pages.
The Stranger is an interesting story and the main character elicits some empathy, but his endless plodding may quickly undermine any root-for-the-underdog support from many readers.
Meursault is convicted of murder and executed by guillotine. End of story.
Existential Novel: A character without purpose in life.
A cork on the tide of life.
Reviewed by Ruben Colon